Posted: Thursday, February 03, 2011 4:40:32 AM
When I hear the word marriage, the first thing that pops into my mind is an eternal bondage to a man, who may or may not be the so-called man of my dreams. Perhaps this is because I am young and inexperienced, but the idea of being obliged to one person for my entire life seems illogical and pointless.
Having two much older sisters, marriage is a topic that often pops up in family get-togethers. Then I am subject to endure the latest arguments over whether one boyfriend is better than another and choose between my eldest sister’s idea of “snow queen wedding” and my other sister’s dream to have a beachside wedding. Once, during Christmas break, one of my sisters began discussing what kind of engagement ring she would like to receive from her boyfriend. Then a huge squabbled ensued about whether or not my other sister would act as a “hint-giver” and supply information to my eldest sister’s boyfriend about what he should get for her. If a wedding should come to fruition, there are wedding halls to book, bridesmaids dresses to choose, wedding apparel to be rented, caterers to scout, guest lists to make and countless other minutiae. All this hassle for a wedding seems illogical to me.
Then comes the married life. There is a classic thought that a couple gets married and lives happily ever after in harmony for the rest of their life. I don’t buy that. There is another idea that a married couple becomes best friends who can count on each other in all times. I also don’t buy that. This might seem cynical of me, but considering that the divorce rate is between 41% to 50%, marriage doesn’t seem to be too sweet of an option. I admit there is a small percentile of people who do have the ideal marriage and are happy with each other, despite the fact that there must be some arguments. But what is the likelihood of being in such a relationship?
Another reason for my depressing view on what is considered a life-changing experience is because of the shackles placed upon a person after marriage. The female in a marriage may have to give up her job in order to care for the children. Husbands can essentially dominate over their wives and have much more control over them than before. Giving up so much freedom, does not seem ideal for someone like me, who values independence.
Ultimately, I don’t see what the benefits of getting married are and what the point of marriage is. Thus, for me, whenever anyone asks me whether I will get married when I grow older, the answer will always be “No way Jose!”