Posted: Monday, December 20, 2010 2:11:02 AM
You’re a two-timing lousy piece of paper. I’ve tried saving you my entire life (and trust me, it’s no easy feat). And through all that time, you have the gall to inform me that you’ve been around in other people’s pants? What is this? Has my lifelong relationship with you been a sham? I thought we had something special. But I guess I was wrong. And the worst part of this whole ordeal is your blatant apathy. You never cared about me (or anybody else for that matter) as much as I cherished you.
Taking myself out of this situation, you’ve been a malignant tumor upon the lives of my family and friends. I hate that my family talks about you more than anything else - they even worry about you. You’ve put my family through a lot, you know. I don’t expect you to apologize but you could at least compensate us with your presence more often. It’s a similar dilemma with my friends. We can never hang out because they don’t have enough of you - and I think that makes them sad enough to stay home all the time. You should be ashamed of yourself.
And I’m going to college next year. I need you more than ever because college fees are expensive. In retrospect, I suppose you felt like I was using you this entire time. But that’s not the least bit true. I put you away, didn’t I - in a safe and secure place? You were never water damaged or crumpled into a wad of crinkly mass, were you? I was always good to you yet you’ve put me through this hell. And you’re not exactly the perfect specimen of entity, either. You’re heavily associated with greed, one of the Seven Deadly Sins.
I also hear that people sell their whimsical aspirations and passions for mundane occupations because the latter is more lucrative. I’m not sure how this makes you feel but it certainly depresses me. You know what? Though you may constantly haunt me throughout my life, you’ll never dominate my dreams and ambitions. I intend to become a writer, traveler extraordinaire, and humanitarian whether you’re on for the ride with me or not. It’ll be a difficult journey but anything worthwhile in life is complicated. Trust me, I’ll find a way to realize my hopes and goals. Just you wait!
And even through all this trouble, shame, sorrow, and unhappiness, I guess what I’m struggling to say is - well, I still want you, even if you don’t want me . . . but I’ll never need you. I’ve got everything I’ll ever need - a brain, a heart, courage, and an imaginary place called home.