STAGE OF LIFE       Share Your Story       Coupons       Education Resources
Sign Up Now!

I'd really rather be a dad

Joined: 11/9/2012
Posts: 1

Naomi Esterly is a mom of twin boys and new baby girl. When she’s not literally juggling kids she teaches writing in her community center and does freelance work for 1800WheelChair.Com. In this post she dishes out reason why it’s better to be a dad.

I'd really rather be a dad

I hate to say it, but I’d really rather be a dad. The fact is that dads get all the fun, and moms get all the work, questions, complaints and requests. It’s mind boggling to watch, and it’s also very frustrating. It’s not just a simple matter of mom being home and more available. This phenomenon happens even when both parents work full-time outside of the home. Here’s a few examples that may sound familiar to you, and some strategies to help you even out the fun factor in your household.

Who Does the Housework?
Stop for a minute to consider who does the housework. Most often, it’s moms who are making the meals, picking up after the kids, cleaning the house and doing the laundry. If I don’t have time to make dinner, my husband is happy to pick something up on his way home. While that’s helpful on a time-crunched night, a quick meal from the local fast food joint hardly compares to a healthy home-cooked meal. Making matters worse is the fact that he’s hailed as the returning hero for walking in the door with nuggets of processed chicken.

When we run out of clean clothes, do you think he goes and puts some in the washer? Of course not, but he does very nicely mention to me that he’s out of socks. Sometimes I say I'll do them that night, other times I ask him when his arms were broken and why he didn't tell me. As they get used to you doing all the work, they stop thinking that they need to help. I’ve been known to give him the Glare of Death for “reminding” me that the floor hasn’t been vacuumed in a while. That's usually enough to make him go, "Don't worry, it looks fine, we can do it later." Where'd that "we" come from? I don't think he knows how to turn the vacuum on.

Who’s on Homework Duty?
Dads like the homework to be done before they get in from work, but do they ever sit down and help with it? My kids swear that I’m better at reading stories because I do the cool voices, but it means that there’s more one thing on my plate. While I’m reading to the youngest, dad’s in the living room watching TV while the other kids play video games. Meanwhile, I’m the one dealing with all the homework and reminders. Yeah, I’d rather be a dad and spend my evenings wrestling with the kids instead of teaching them.

Mom, Mom, Mom, Ummm…. Mom….
This one just kills me. I can be sleeping on the couch with my husband next to me, and the children will still come up and go, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommmy.” Now, is that really necessary? It’s not like I was sleeping or anything. It’s almost as if they forget that their father exists, so I wind up with every question, concern, complaint and request under the sun – and they are usually preceded by repetitive cries of “Mommy.”

Who Wants a Movie?
When it’s time to do something fun, like go to the movie store, my husband is happy to step in and help out. Meanwhile, I’m a little too tired from all the housework, parenting and homework sessions to move, or I’m too busy getting caught up on all those chores. It’s frustrating. It’s easy to blame your spouse, and it’s easy to become bitter. However, there’s only one letter between bitter and better, and that’s “I.” There are ways to reverse this trend, and it’s better for the entire family.

Help with Household Duties
The first issue is getting dad to help you out with chores around the house. If the kids are a little older, you can even start assigning chores and get them to pitch in. Establish a rule that whoever cooks does not have to do the dishes. Around here we call it cooking duty and kitchen clean-up. It works beautifully. We also have the kids help with setting and clearing the table.

It extends from the kitchen to the rest of the house. Before you go to bed, have dad help you clean up the house. Establish a laundry pattern where the kids can help put their clothes away. In the mornings, my husband starts a load of laundry before I got up. Once I am up, it is ready to go in the dryer, and I have a jumpstart on the day.

When you sit down to discuss having your hubby help more with the chores, bring up the homework. While you are reading to one, he can be helping the other with math or science. As you get everyone involved with chores and homework, you will be less stressed and the entire family will work better together. There may be some chores that still fall on you, like the vacuuming, but they should be more evenly distributed to take some of the pressure off you.

You Have Another Parental Unit
The best thing you can do for yourself is start reminding the kids that they have another parental unit. When they come to you with questions and ignore their father who is sitting right there, just look at them and say, “You have another parental unit.” They might have to think about it for a moment, but they will eventually turn to their father and go, “Dad, Dad, Daddy, can I have a snack, go out, get the car keys?” It reminds the kids that you aren’t the only decision maker, and it reinforces to dad that he needs to step in a little more.

The worst thing you can do is get frustrated with dad and just boot him out of the house. It may seem tempting at times, but being a single parent would be even harder. Talk with your spouse and enlist his help. Don’t be bitter about the situation. Just start taking steps to improve it. The first one can be to wait until your little darlings need help with something, smile and say, “Go ask your father.”
Rate this:
Comment by warren

Joined: 6/22/2011
Posts: 283
Welcome to Stage of Life. I enjoyed your post. I can only suggest that, next time, you interview a broader range of prospective husbands to learn exactly what they'll contribute. After the wedding, a few of us can be trained, but that's much more difficult.
Posted: Sunday, November 11, 2012 8:41:13 PM
Rate this:
Comment by ashleylove920

Joined: 3/9/2013
Posts: 5
I totally agree with this post!
Posted: Saturday, March 9, 2013 10:38:12 PM
Rate this:

Parents blog on StageofLife.comAbout Us is a blogging community for parents.  It allows people who are raising a family to share stories about the adventure of parenthood in an online life journal via their free Stage of Life account.  Read the blogs and stories about raising a family, or check out the writing contest for parents, quotes about parenthood, parenting etiquette, funny videos about kids, discounts for families, and other resources for raising a family on  Register to start your free profile, share an essay about your family, and pass along your wisdom to help us change the world, one story at a time.  If you are a college professor, teacher or educator - review our literacy, blogging and writing resources.

Stage of Life Writing Contests

writing contests

Enter National Writing Contest2015 Writing Contests - October

Details:  Select your life stage below to view the current writing contest prompt for each life category, and help us change the story at a time...with an essay about your thoughts and experiences.

October 2015 Writing ContestsOctober 2015 Writing Contest Prompt:  What's your story? Answer our monthly "life question" and be automatically entered into our writing contest.  This month, in 500 words or less, we want you to share your thoughts on an important environmental issue. 

Cost:  $0 (no entry fees).  There is never a fee to enter writing contests.

Prizes:  Winning essay writers receive gift card prizes from our literacy sponsors (see below).  You can view examples of winning stories on our Writing Contest Winners page.

Next Steps:  Select your life stage to get details and enter the current essay contest for your life stage...

Writing contests for high school students
Writing Contest
for High School
Writing contests for college students
Writing Contest
for College
Writing contests for singles on
Writing Contest
Writing contests about weddings on
Writing Contest
 Writing contests for married couples on
Writing Contest
for Married

Writing contests for homeowners on
Writing Contest
for Home
Writing contests for having a baby on
Writing Contest
about Having
a Baby
Writing contests for Moms and Dads on
Writing Contest
for Moms
and Dads

 Writing contests for Grandparents on
Writing Contest
 Writing contests about Retirement on
Writing Contest
about Empty Nest
and Retirement

 Twitter writing contest by
Take a minute to enter our "Short Short Story" Writing Contest on Twitter. 
National Writing Contest Winners
  View our past writing contest winners.

Bragging rights, international recognition, and gift card prizes:  Enter the free writing contests each month on

Mentions for the Stage of Life teen writing contests, teen trend reports, etiquette Q&A, and teacher resources by...

Our writing contests mentioned by
Our Teen Trend Report mentioned by MarketWatch Our etiquette resources mentioned by FOX Business Educator tips mentioned by Mashable


Each month, with the help of over 20 Editors, Stage of Life hosts and judges writing contests for both students and adults.  Select your life stage below to get the details about this month's writing prompt and submit your essay.  Thanks to the below brands, our educational sponsors, who supply gift cards as prizes for the winning essays as we help the change the world through blogging, storytelling, and our literacy-based initiatives...

 Writing contest sponsor  Writing contest sponsor on  Blogging contest prize sponsor Spa & Wellness gift cards by SpaWeek writing contestsWhat makes our writing contests different?

  • Stage of Life writing contests are always free to enter
  • Essays from our blogging and writing contests have been picked up by the media, e.g., and used by teachers as mentor texts across the globe
  • We want to hear your personal, authentic thoughts on real world topics each month.  We pick writing prompts for which your answers and wisdom may help our readers
  • We award the winners with real prizes (cash and/or gift cards) from our site sponsors
  • We have Stage of Life SWAG for the winner
  • By entering the Stage of Life writing contests each month, you are supporting our free educational literacy initiatives and your words will be reaching hundreds of thousands of viewers who visit to either share or read real-life stories

Find Us on Facebook      Follow Us on Twitter     Read our Founder's Blog is an education-based, grassroots, non-partisan, free blogging community with a mission support digital literacy by making the world a better place, one story, essay, and blog at a time.  Stage of Life users (teens, college students, Millennials, Gen Y, Gen X, and Baby Boomers) can share and archive their life stories via their Stage of Life profile page.  Specialized content includes literacy resources, free lesson plans, writing prompts for Language Arts teachers, monthly writing contests for high school students (and older generations), student blogging initiatives, blog directories, and financial literacy tools - including Life Rewards® - our free discount program for all Stage of Life users, readers and writers dedicated to providing printable coupons and coupon codes tailored towards each stage of life.

Terms of Service and Privacy