I see where you're coming from, and I really love the alternative ways to be a "cool" parent, but I have a slightly different take on this.

While my family is conservative, alcohol was never a taboo issue like it was with many of my friends' families. A glass of wine with dinner, a cold beer when you go fishing--even though I wasn't of age back then, my family let me drink occasionally. They never let me get drunk, or drive after a drink, or anything like that, but they always stressed moderation and responsibility.

In high school, I had a friend whose family would have huge parties. Mostly, it was family, and those who weren't might as well have been. Her parents always made sure that the parents of those of us who weren't legal knew where we were and what was going on, even asked if we could have a beer or two. As soon as we would get there, they'd take our keys and lock them up, and no one could leave until the morning. I feel like many times, safety should take priority over legality. If a teenager is going to drink, there really is no way to stop it--they'll do it one way or another. When I have children of my own, when they get to that age, I hope we'll be close enough for them to tell me, "Hey mama, we want to drink some beers and watch football," instead of sneaking out to parties or lying about where they are or what they're doing. And, if it's too lame for them to want to do it with me, I hope they have friends with parents to provide that controlled environment.

In a weird way, growing up with alcohol not being treated as some elusive mysterious world open only after the age of twenty-one made it less exciting, and ultimately made us more responsible.

My first week of college, my mind was blown at how the majority of my class acted on the weekends. It was really easy for me to spot the people who weren't allowed to have a glass of wine with dinner, or a margarita at the pool. The number of people who got alcohol poisoning the first month alone was outrageous. It's a pretty safe assumption, I believe, to say that the people who were overdoing it had grown up with alcohol being some secret adult thing. Those of us who were used to drinking the occasional beer with our families weren't the ones puking on ourselves or passing out on the sidewalk. We had honed ourselves the self-control and responsibilty that had been forced on the others, and that forced responsibility somehow completely deteriorates at the first whiff of freedom in a way that a cultivated control never will.

I'm not trying to condone underage drinking, but from what I've seen, moderation and responsibilty can be easily instilled by allowing that occasional drink. If a teenager hasn't been around it, doesn't know how to react in such situations, et cetera, they are far more likely to fall into much more destructive drinking behaviors in college, or when they're legal.

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My daughter attended parties in high school where parents "served and took the keys." It doesn't work and places many lives in jeopardy needlessly.

However, I also think that Amanda makes a good point regarding "supervised" underage drinking. I never served alcohol to my daughter's friends, but I did allow her to have a glass of wine or beer with us once in a while during her teenage years. I wanted her to understand how to drink responsibly and not to think of it as something to "look forward to" as an adult. Making it acceptable took the mystique out of it and when she got to college she had much the same experience that Amanda described.

This is a tough issue and every family will approach it differently for different reasons. Hopefully, common sense and good judgement will prevail.