Posted: Friday, January 20, 2012 7:54:05 PM
My sweet little girl, I love you so much. The instant that pregnancy test had two lines I began to fall in love with you. As the weeks progressed and my belly grew I began to love you even more, if that was possible. I just knew that you were a girl, long before the ultrasound ever said so. I had bought you a cute pink baby book since I was so sure.
You loved when I read to you. You would sit still except for pushing your feet into my ribs. I loved to watch my belly grow and picture you growing too. I also liked to read the weekly updates on what you and my body were doing. It amazed me that I was making a tiny little human being-YOU!
My Ellie-bug, I'll never forget the first picture I ever saw of you. I was 11 weeks along and you were a little alien with tiny arms and legs starting. And you were bouncing all over the place! Everytime they'd place the transducer in one spot you fling yourself over to the other side of me. It was one of the most beautiful moments to see you.
But then came the day where I woke up in terrrible pain, as labor began. But I was only 33 weeks, so the doctor didn't worry. I'm sorry Ellie, I didn't know you were trying to get out. The next day I had an apointment, but it didn't go as planned. When they had trouble finding a heartbeat they did an ultrasound. When that was inconclusive they sent me for another and up to labor and delivery after that.
Something had gone wrong, and I'm sorry Ellie that I never knew what. The doctor's coached me through it all and you were finally out. They came back with you and let me hold you. You were the most beautiful angel I had ever seen. Then they cleaned you up a bit and put you in an adorable pink bundt and took a picture of us.
Sweetheart, I will always love you. You were my sunshine and now you are my angel. I will never forget my pregnancy with you. Even if for 3 months you decided we didn't like to eat anything. You will always be my first, my Ellie-bug, my honey bunches. I love you Elliana!