Posted: Wednesday, April 06, 2011 5:31:03 AM
I read in bed nearly every night. Sometimes I read for work. Most of the time its for pleasure. Currently, I'm reading a book that covers off on both of those areas - Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell.
I was 20 pages into the book when I came across a passage talking about marriage...
"Marriages are buffeted by more important things [referring to an argument between a couple that was discussed earlier in the chapter], like money and sex and children and jobs and in-laws, in constantly changing combinations. Sometimes couples are very happy together. Some days they fight. Sometimes they feel as through they could almost kill each other, but then they go on vacation and come back sounding like newlyweds."
This last line particularly made me smile.
At one point early in our marriage (this is pre-children...I'm going back a decade+ here), Becky (my wife) and I were having a series of arguments. Becky was telling my mother-in-law about this one day and my mother-in-law offered up this solution...
"You two should go on vacation."
Becky scoffed at the idea. I did too.
That's not going to solve the problem we thought! We need a marriage counselor...not a tan!
Well, guess what? It did solve the problem (or at least put us on the right track to solving it).
It just so happened that around that same time of the fighting, we had a friend's wedding to attend and we took a short weekend trip that completely re-centered us, got us out of our routines, and put us into a situation that reminded us of why we love each other so much.
Traveling with my wife has always been something that I enjoy beyond measure. There's something about having your best friend at your side as you create new experiences and reconnect outside of the daily pressures life can throw at you.
I'm not saying a vacation will cure every relationship issue, but I will admit that both the brilliant author Malcolm Gladwell, AND my brilliant mother-in-law, Mary Jo, are correct when they attribute vacations to marital happiness.
It does work.
To this day, traveling with my wife is a key component of our relationship maintenance.
With that being said, let me state the obvious - summer is just around the corner. I hope all of you married couples (and people in long-term relationships) consider taking your loved one on vacation to reconnect, bond and yes, come home grinning like newlyweds.