After I blogged this morning, I went through my normal morning routine (shower, dressing, etc.) I have to tell you...my heart was very heavy about these things, about whether or not I understood the Scriptures, and whether or not I was in the right place or right group. I went before the Lord to inquire of Him, and after some time of pondering my own position, I finally received clarity.

I guess the truth of the matter is this: you cannot change a horse's spots, kwim?

I am the way I am, and though I do try to demonstrate mercy and compassion, and I try very hard not to judge others, I tend to be very black and white when it comes to the Word of God. I take it at face value. If God said it, then it is so. I don't mince the words, I don't try and figure them out. I take them as His Word, and therefore, it/they are truth.

The issue is how to live with such a limited view of things in a very big, and at times, overwhelmingly non-Christian world? And, furthermore, how does one reconcile these inconsistencies within the church itself?

How do you deal with parts of the church who simply do not believe in the totality of Scripture? They may take this position out of ignorance or they may take it to avoid coming to terms with sin in their lives (for justification of certain behaviors, whether past or present or on-going/habitual). This is the biggest hurdle for me -- learning how to love others inspite of their position on the Scriptures.

I do not want to judge others, but I cannot help but judge their behavior, their character, and at times, their level of understanding. We as the Church of Christ, are called to build up one another. We are called to be examples of right living. We are called to be on the alert for false teachers, false doctrine, and especially to be alert, for the weaker brother or sister who might fall prey to such teaching because of ignorance (or newness to Christ).

The problem as I see it is that there is a lot of bad teaching out there already. There is a lot of watered down Scripture being passed off as Biblical counsel. There is a lot of false teachers, preaching and teaching only half-truth. And, in our effort to nurture, counsel and console those who are hurting, there are a lot of people in leadership positions where they really shouldn't be. I think this is vital to understand: anytime you are in a ministry that seeks to counsel another person, even as a lay person, you have to know your Bible inside and out. You cannot lead others by holding their hands and commisserating with them. You can support them, but you run the risk of encouraging un-Biblical teaching simply by feeling sorry for them.

Perhaps it is just that this is my first support group experience. Perhaps my problem is that I am used to Biblical counseling, and where the counselor had passed significant levels of training BEFORE they led or ministered to another person. My counselor was a lay minister. She had over 10 years of practical experience, working under a licensed Social Worker. Other counselors I have gone to were either licensed or they were trained through ministerial programs specific to the counseling they were pursuing.

Support groups typically are led by a counselor. Lay ministers are effective, so long as they have specific training. Discipleship groups or mentors are more user-friendly, hands-on...as in "I will hold your hand through this difficult time." My feeling is this...when you are offering a DivorceCare group, you have to have leadership that is trained in Biblical counseling. Even though the purpose of the group is not to provide counseling, counseling is what takes place. Mentoring is good, always a good thing; but in this situation, it must be done under the careful eye of a trained specialist.

Men and women who are going through separation and/or divorce, and who are working through the process with a support group must have the oversight of a clincial counselor. This is just my opinion, but I feel it is too risky a proposition to enter into this type of relationship without the proper training and Biblical background.

So, after prayerful consideration, I have decided to send an email to our Minister of Small Groups explaining that this support group doesn't meet my needs at this time. I am in transition, not divorced yet. Therefore, while the information presented is useful (informative and supportive), I simply feel as though I am out of "step in time" (quoting from Mary Poppins). I am just not in the same mindframe as the other participants nor am I in agreement, Biblically speaking, with the approach and focus of the ministry itself.

My prayer is that this program works for those who are seeking discipleship through divorce, because that is what I think it is designed to do. Unfortunately, many people come to these types of groups when they really need to see a professional counselor. Knowing when to redirect conversation off a topic, referring a person for more individualized help, etc., that is part of the counseling practice. Not having such a person being present, IMHO, represents a risky situation. I am hoping that in future groups, it would be possible to have a counselor present. Just my .02 cents.