Joined: 5/30/2009
Posts: 8

My husband and I were ecstatic to learn that we were pregnant back in October. We told our parents right away (we're both very close with our parents, and our announcement was the perfect gift for both of our mothers, whose birthdays fell on the weekend we broke the news). Telling my parents that I lost the baby in early November was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I was like a zombie for the first couple days, but I went back to work and tried to carry on like everything was fine. Most of the time, it is fine, but other days are really, really difficult, especially when I work with some of the most INSENSITIVE people ever, who think it's appropriate to ask me when I'm planning on having children as nearly every day conversation around the water cooler. Thankfully, I am fortunate enough to have a very supportive family and circle of friends. They are always there for me when I need to vent. I must say, though, that my husband has been more supportive than I ever could have imagined. Even though this has been really hard on us, it has brought us closer together.

We're still trying to get pregnant (with no success so far), but we're also trying our best to enjoy the time we have left together as "just the two of us." I see my friends and family members with children, and although they are so, so happy, I can't help but notice that they don't go on impromptu dates or trips anymore as a couple. It's almost impossible with young children. My husband and I had a long discussion about using the next year (or hopefully less!) to our advantage as a couple. We're leaving on a road trip vacation next week, we have plans to go to a few concerts this summer, and we are looking into planning a few weekend getaways in the near future.

So, to sum it up, if you've recently gone through a loss, here are a few things that I recommend to keep yourself sane (I'm by no means an expert, but these tips have helped me a lot!):
--Don't hide it from the people you love. Although it make be a difficult topic to discuss, there will most likely be someone who has been through a similar experience. Miscarriages are a lot more common than I ever realized. Even if your friends/family haven't been through it, they will definitely be there to offer support during the really tough times.
--Talk to your spouse about your feelings. I've shed a lot of tears over the past few months, but I always feel better after talking with my husband about how I'm feeling.
--If you're into blogging, search for blogs of people who have been through similar experiences. I have found a wonderful support group in my fellow bloggers. I can't even tell you how many comments, emails, and well wishes I've received in the past few months. All of those mean more to me than any of those bloggers will ever know.
--Don't just sit around! Go out and do things--exercise, go out on dates, plan a trip....take advantage of the time you have as a couple.