Posted: Wednesday, March 21, 2012 11:36:10 PM
We live in what was dubbed as a “McMansion” a few years ago by builders who accurately assumed that middle income Americans would want to treat themselves to a home that represented their station in life – much like a Ferrari is to a Rock Star or a buying an island is to Oprah. We fell for the fantasy.
In actuality, it is just a pretty ordinary house – with tremendously high ceilings. That part was supposed to create the “wow” factor for buyers and evoke a feeling of spaciousness and opulence.
Unfortunately, what it created was a pain in the #*% for homeowners when it comes to changing light bulbs. Hence, the extendable light bulb changing tool. Without that single, magnificent tool, life would be intolerable. If you have never used one, let me enlighten you. The tool is literally a suction cup attached to a very long poll. One uses the tool to unscrew the dead light bulb and replace it with a new one. Now comes the really gross part – you need to spit on the suction cup so it will adhere to the light bulb. Yep! Spit on it. Then, you can press it into the bulb and pray that it attaches. If you have just the right amount of spit, it will adhere, then, you can turn the poll (to unscrew the bulb) and slowly, slowly, slowly bring the old bulb down. Whew…. If you accomplished this step successfully, you are now half way there. Here comes the fun part.
Now you will need to spit on the suction cup again and attach a new bulb. Slowly, slowly, (did I say slowly) lift the new bulb to the socket which is 25 feet above your head, and screw the bulb into the socket. Sure, that’s gonna’ happen.
We net about 50% on our attempts but still firmly believe in “the tool,” in spite of the fact that we have had to sweep up our fair share of shattered glass from the floor, our hair, clothes, etc. Just last week I found a chard that made its way to the corner unnoticed several weeks back.
The alternative is to live in the dark. Not gonna’ happen, so we persist. Now, if you want to hear a really funny story, let me tell you about changing the batteries in the fire alarm….