Joined: 1/4/2009
Posts: 7

My wife and I made New Year goals for the first time - as a couple.

And it was an interesting experience. Let me give you some quick background. We've been been married for three years and have been dating for 2 years before that. That's five years we've been together - total.

Well, before this weekend, we used to make individual New Year's resolutions and then share them with each other. She would make her list and I would make mine. We'd then share the lists over a glass of wine on New Year's Eve and usually laugh or support each other with "You-can-do-that's" based on the reality on if that particular resolution was obtainable (in our individual eye). It was an easy process, because all we really had to worry or focus on for the task was our individual self.

But this year, we decided to make family goals - together. Goals for our household. Goals for our relationship. This wasn't so easy. It involved some heavy conversation. The goals I thought were important in 2009 were not the same as my wife's. In fact - a few were on opposite ends of the "to-do" spectrum. For instance, one of my goals for us was to travel more in 2009 - take 4-6 trips this year. Hers was to save money and travel less, maybe one or two trips, and use the extra funds to start that business we've been talking about (more on that in my next blog).

Let's just say that our light and lively New Year's Eve conversations from the previous five years were replaced by a heavy yet still lively New Year's Eve debate and discussion for 2009.

But you know what...I loved it.

Yes, it was intense. Yes, it was surprising (I didn't know she was ready to start thinking about kids!). And yes, we got mad at each other, but I wouldn't change the experience for the world. It helped us talk about some important things...for our life together.

It's not just about her or me anymore. It's about us. I highly encourage you to sit down with your wife (or husband) and do the same thing. I think there's a "to-do" list about goal setting for married couples in this section of the site. Check it out. Peace.

--Karl.

P.s. We still made individual goals for 2009 too. We didn't meld into one person on New Year's Eve mind you (well...)